Emily Porter Letter
James UTZ Compiled Service Record
National Archives & Records Administration M322-148



Sept 9 1864

My dear Husband

It is with a sad heart I tell you my troubles they are so great it seem [sic] that I cannot stand for you to be away any longer if you were here with me in my trouble. Our darling little boy {is?} gone, gone, gone. Yes little Sammie is no more, he died with flux or rather colic [inflamation?] on the 29th day of last month, our little babe is now in heaven, it was so hard to give the dear little fellow up. I know I will never get over it, I feel like it will almost kill me I had promised myself so much of him he was one of the smartest children of his age I ever saw, but the Lord's ways are not our ways, he saw fit to call him home. I know I out [sic] not to greave [sic] after him. I know he is a bright little angel in heaven I feel that I was not capable of taken [sic] care of so great a little charge. I know he was taken for some purpose, but how can I, how can I think that he is gone he was taken sick on Thursday night and died on Monday at six in the evening he did not seem to suffer a great deal until Sunday he was taken with spasms nothing that we could do stopt [sic] them] he had 15 in all he was senciable [sic] [to the?] last. not to [sic] minutes before he breathed his last he called Ma & brother it seemed like he knew he was going to die. the week he was taken sick he talked a great deal about his dear Da (that is what he called you) he says ma tell Da to come home I want to see my dear Da. It seem that the Almighty had arranged otherwise, "the Lord doeth all things well, blessed be the name of the Lord[".] we were not permitted to keep our little on earth with us. Let us strive to meet our little angel in Heaven, death is so unsertain [sic] we should always be prepared to face our Savior, we know our time will come sooner or later, may the Lord prepare us to meet it my dear Husband I would give anything in the word, I would give up every other comfort of life if you would come home. Oh I want you at home we have one darling little one left us yet. I want you to come and help to care for him you do care for him, I know, but I want to be with you you must come I will go crazy if you stay away any longer if you cant come home try and make some arrangement for me to come to you I want Jimmie to know more about you I talk a great deal to him but that is not like being with you and knowing for himself. Our dear little Sammie is gone without knowing what it was to have a fathers love Oh it was so hard to give him up so. he was so full of life he loved to play so well I often thought when he was in one of his little plays, how much good it would do you to see him I know you would enjoy it so much but alas-the little one was called I could not keep him it was the greatest desire of my heart that I might keep our children until you could come home, but such was not the will of the Lord his will must be done, if it is his will he will he spared our other little darling boy, and if he sees cause to take him we must not mourn.

Why is it my own dear one that you do not write it seems so strange you do not write, if you could but know how much pleasure your letters give me you would not neglect me in this way others get letters from there Husbands that are with you and why cannot I I will leave that for you to answer, all the pleasure I have in this world is to here from you to read a letter from your pen. write every opportunity will you. if you still love me and care for me write will Oh I know you love me I know you do dear Husband I know you do love me as fondly as ever another loved his bride. [Just?] do not but you will write every chance perhaps your chance is not so good as others do the best you can and may the Lord bless you and us and bring us home to Heaven at last is the prayer of your ever devoted wife Emily.

There is a great deal of sickness through the country more than there has been for many years. A great many deaths. Mr Cal White died last week of flux there has been some six or eight deaths in this neighborhood all flux. I had little Sammie buried at Uncle Bradshaws I thought that to be the most suitable place If you are scarse [sic] of paper tell me when you write and I will send you sheets in every letter I write also a postage stamp. I will send my likeness in this [?] and little Sammies I will send Jimmies next time I write I can't [send?] his until I get another for fear it gets lost, if you ever have a chance to have yours [taken?] you must send it to me. No more at present but [always?] yours forever

Em


tell me to how to direct my letters to you. I will send this to brother James tell him his wife and children are all well






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